Childless Doula - Radical?

I am starting to think that I am a radical doula & childbirth educator, of sorts. What does that mean? Miriam, author of the Radical Doula Website/Blog, claims that she is a radical doula because she is 1) Pro-choice, 2) Queer (a.k.a. LGBTQ, not heterosexual), and 3) Latina. In other words, she is different than the majority of birthing professionals, who are typically identified with a heterosexual, two-parent family, and who have children of their own.

My main "drawback" as a doula and educator is that I haven't had children. This may seem obvious, but there is quite a bit of debate out there among women and their choice for birth attendants--i.e., would they hire a midwife/doula/doctor/instructor who has never had children? Those who say "No," argue that there is no way a childless man or woman could relate or empathize with a laboring woman, because they could not possibly know how it feels. Those who say "Yes," argue that one is not hired based on their experience, but rather on their skills and sensitivity, which is certainly not gained solely through the experience of giving birth.

Of course, I believe that any birthing experience I may have had could not possibly teach me as much as I have learned as an educator and doula in the last 5 years. What if I had a traumatic experience? What if I had a short, painless birth? If our births were completely different (which is highly, highly likely), wouldn't I also lack the personal experience that a childless doula has? I often say, at least I have no baggage with me, whatsoever. I am not there to recreate my own birthing experience, I am not there to make up for what I personally missed, I am not there to project my experience onto that laboring woman. I am present. I am in the moment. Nancy Romanello RN, CLDT, CCCE, CLE, a CAPPA trainer, has this to say about a good doula:

What, then, makes a good doula? One of the most important qualities of a good doula is the ability to put aside her own feelings about what is a "good birth" and support the mother and her partner in their decisions...Another important quality is a caring and compassionate heart. It is also important that the doula have physical strength, good listening skills, a calm demeanor, and a good knowledge of childbirth.

Nancy also implies that there are, in fact, advantages to hiring a childless doula:

Some people believe that to be a good doula you must have given birth yourself. There are many childless doulas with wonderful skills and very kind and caring hearts. Sometimes they find doula work easier than others as they have fewer commitments than women with children.

Nancy has a good point! As a childless (actually, I prefer "childfree") doula, I am able to jump in the car and go to a birth without having to worry about finding childcare, caring for sick children, or conflicts with attendance at my children's activities. I am also fresh and well-rested as a result.

I have felt the sting that this "outsider" label has given me for the last 5 years of being a birthing professional, as it hangs around, often unspoken. I know the judgement exists about my qualifications, whenever someone asks if I have had children and I say "No." I know what they're thinking. However, I know that I have helped, literally, dozens and dozens of mothers have wonderful births, through both my HypnoBirthing classes and my attendance at births. I know I can help. And it's okay if a mom doesn't want to hire me for that reason.

In fact, I think that I want to focus on serving alternative families--single moms, lesbian couples, surrogate & adoptive families, and teens. So, let's get the word out. Moms of ALL kinds need the support of a doula, not just the ones with loving husbands. A doula can also help normalize the ambivalent feelings that go along with birth for moms who face other challenges during this crucial time period. THAT is where the skill comes in!